#Love the red sniperspy though

[john-pancreas]

I think John pancreas’s favorite sniperspy relationship dynamic that actually includes the blue spy (I’m sorry but red sniperspy will always have my heart)

is the awkward love line

where the red sniper and spy are just in a nice happy relationship (I personally think red spy just adores sniper and sniper is just surprised with all the attention from such a gentleman!! Eheheh just very cute and fluffy lol)

and then there’s blue spy

and things get unhealthy and obsessive

where the red spy goes slow with sniper (both are nervous but spy would never admit that)

the blue spy is aggressive forceful

and obsession rather than love doesn’t actually care about sniper or his wants

just control over him

REALLY unhealthy love

I dunno I just think that’s an interesting dynamic eh heh heh

just John pancreas thoughts

[sparkly-sediment]

Clawing at the wall for some good angsty Sniperspy headcanons or drabbles PLEASE

(AITA For loving the toxicity??)

never be ashamed of craving drama ❤️ every diva needs nurished

Tf2 Sniper x Spy ANGST

Tw for homophobia, internalized and external + mentions of suicidal ideation

Um so Sniper is gay and finds how effeminate Spy is (hygienic) attractive but also rage inducing

They have really rough sex in the beginning. Like, red flag rough with Sniper being on top

He had a lot of unresolved anger with his sexuality so definitely took some of it out on Spy. A slight resentment did develop but he hated it because he genuinely cared about the Frenchman, just had some issues

Spy was disappointed when they started being more than friendly. He was used to being treated unkindly and when Sniper started out with nearly zero intimacy a part of him.. bristled.

They had a desperate end-of-the-world make out and feel feelings session in the sniper stand while Sniper was doing target practice and everyone felt a bit better after that. Less violent, more considerate of each other

SPY IS IN HIS 40’s GUYS HE’S LITERALLY SCOUTS DAD!! SNIPER IS CANON 27. THERE IS AN INHERENT POWER DYNAMIC WITH SUCH AN AGE GAP

Spy lowkey manipulates the fuck outta Snipes! Thankfully Sniper has the stoner detachment (‘idk man it’s not that big of a deal…’) but he does have to question if he’s really that dirty, and if he really doesn’t mind the whole absent father thing

They don’t talk about it but Sniper knows 100% like that bitch deduced

Spy has a fairly consistent treatment of others, including Sniper. Sniper can vary drastically and Spy just takes it. He’ll let Snipes be nice to him and hang out together in his camper, just talking. He’ll also let Snipes treat him like shit and do weird nasty things

Spy is used to being hated and Sniper comes to realize, sort of excepts it

As time goes on they find a nice rhythm and have a sort of relationship going!! After it clicks that Spy will take anything like a dog, Sniper decides do treat him RIGHT one night

Candles (fire hazard as fuck), flowers, he cleans, the whole nine yards. Spy comes to the camper and is met with the most romantic evening a guy living in a van is capable of. Snipes pulls every cheesy, romantic line he knows

Spy cries when they start being intimate!! He tried not to but Sniper starts kissing him so sweetly and is so gentle when he pushes back Spy’s jacket!! He genuinely cannot help it and says he needs to fold his jacket so he can turn away

So that shame is suffocating. Living in a group of nine men, queer, sleeping with a teammate half his age, and crying??

Spy sits in his smoking room, a cigarette hangs from his lips, and he stares off into the fire. The pit in his chest aches and sours, like poor circulation to something deep inside of him, and he tries so hard to not think about it

Spy hates himself. Sniper doesn’t, but he has personal issues that manifest as anger. They yell at each other occasionally and they feel awful in private

Together, though, things can be nice in the dark

[thatradfailure]

Genderbent mercs. If you even care.

Notes about them under the cut because I put way too much thought into one off designs (even though Sniper and Scout technically aren't one off because I drew them before, came back, didn't like the designs, and decided to do an entire revamp and include three of their pals)

Sniper: Since she's a woman in a hypermasculine society (Australia) she probably grew up with extra pressure to also be hypermasculine, but failed a little extra hard because she's Woman. So, I gave her a lot of teeth jewelry for the intimidation factor they provide, as well as boots instead of regular shoes. I also gave her claw nails so that she can be perceived as extra dangerous. Otherwise, her short hair isn't necessarily a style she likes, but one she feels pressured to have to look more masculine and thus fit in better. I like the idea of fem!Sniper with braids tbh but couldn't see it fitting here.

Scout: Basically, she's both proud and insecure of her femininity. She dresses cute, she has cute stickers, and she constantly rubs it in people's face that they're being beat by a girl. But to be taken more seriously, she also masculinizes herself. Not her love of sports, that's natural, but she acts more boyish and speaks deeper than her natural register. Her young looks and immature attitude probably get her infantilized moreso than canon Scout, much to her great annoyance, which makes her double down on her boyish traits.

Medic: Honestly nothing too major to note. It was just important to me to get across that she's just as willing to sew a baboon uterus into a man as canon Medic is. Added a skirt because Medic is a prime and proper kinda guy, and heels because I think she deserves the intimidation factor.

Spy: Much like Medic, nothing too major to note. However, I think it's fairly evident that she looks the least like her canon character than the others. This is because men's and women's fashion is so different. She's also BLU in a RED lineup because I thought it'd be funny.

Engineer: Unlike the others, I actually based her design on concept art (the post I referenced specifically being here: https://www.tumblr.com/renposter/730118522655686656/official-gender-swapped-versions-of-the-tf2-roster?source=share). Specifically, the Rosie Rivets-esk hair for some of the fem!Heavy concepts, and the boots from one of the actual fem!Engineer concepts. I also included two little details- one is that her sleeve for her right arm is down, tucked into the glove. This is an allusion to her prosthetic hand, since a lot of people tend to have (needlessly) harsh beauty opinions about that, and beauty standards on women are. Especially harsh in the little details. Not to say they aren't harsh on men (I am so sorry you all are expected to look like Greek statues) but this post ain't about that. The second detail is the addition of the Teddy Roosevelt cosmetic, which is like a little good luck charm to her! There's no real reason, I just thought it'd look cute. Oh, and also she's about to bash Spy in with her wrench. Because she's the only one that's noticed. Unless Sniper knows but has stayed quiet about it because I'm a SniperSpy shipper-

[coldspicyy]

⚠️BLOG INFO⚠️

Yo, I'm a 24 year old, Swedish artist/gamer who's brainrotting about TF2. I also dabble in 3D sculpting but it's nothing I post about lmao.

My ask is (probably) open rn as I love discussing stuff and seeing what asinine stuff ends up in there.

I don't do commissions... However:

Asks/comments on my posts that inspire me might provoke art. Requests are also fine, but then specify whether you're asking for sfw/nsfw art. I promise nothing though. They have to tickle my brain enough to get drawn.

❗CONTENT WARNING❗

You will be seeing suggestive jokes and watered down adult humor on my blog. Exposed body parts (not the reproductive ones) roam freely and may be encountered in the wild. If you cannot handle suddenly seeing ⅔ of an exposed thigh or the digital rendition of someone's behind then do not proceed.

You have the personal responsibility to moderate your own internet experience. Begone if you cannot do that.

Minors may, at their own volition, follow/interact with my posts here. All pictures are censored.

🖌Art tag: #i drew this wow

UNCENSORED ART:

⛔ Minors don't enter, please and thank you. ⛔

🔞Pillowfort

🔞BlueSky

🔞Twitter (privated, not posting here)

Favorite ships:

Boots n' Bombs (Demosoldier)

Red Octoberfest (Heavymedic)

Speeding Bullet (Sniperscout)

Bloody Suit (Sniperspy)

Practical Espionage (Engiespy)

Spy x Scout's mom

I enjoy others too, but these are the big ones.

[eluneu]

God, she was despicable. A predatory lesbian, a rotting opportunist clawing greedily for more than she was due, looking at her innocent friend like a piece of meat to dissect and consume.

Spy hadn’t wept in years. She didn’t now. But -

Some spy she was. She couldn’t even lie to herself anymore.

Spy wept.

Art ( + framed shots without the glass/gradient effects) based on chapter 11 of I Can Dream About You (If I Can Hold You Tonight)

[hattedhellspawn]

This is a sniperspy fic I wrote a while ago but I really like it and I want to post it ! The rest is already up on ao3 here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/42488715

I'm only posting this first bit to tumblr, since it's a bit long.

----------------------

Disappearing Act

It was an odd, imperfect sort of agreement they had. It wasn’t something that either of them had planned, but once you had each seen the other so damn tired of the whole of it on more than one occasion, you found it easy in a roundabout way to be sick of it together---That was the way RED’s Sniper thought of it anyway. “It” referred to the war they were all fighting on behalf of the Administrator, one that just about every mercenary was sick and tired of, to the point that it almost felt like a game to some of them. So it almost felt entirely natural, the first time the BLU team’s Spy had climbed up into his tower and uncloaked himself. It hadn’t crossed Sniper’s mind until much later how wrong it was for the Spy to crouch down next to him, to sit there quietly for a moment while he finished his cigarette, then pull out another one to chase it, all the while looking out of the wide, open window.

He had stayed for some time, too long for it to have been entirely on impulse, too aimlessly for it to have been premeditated. Sniper had continued to bloody well do his job. It didn’t seem to bother the Spy in the slightest. When he had made four consecutive headshots, he heard the Spy make a small humming noise in his throat. He pulled just slightly away from his scope to glance at him questioningly, and the Spy just raised his eyebrows, seeming almost as surprised as Sniper was. It must have been a subconscious acknowledgement.

Sniper didn’t speak. That had never been his strong suit anyway; he was an introvert by nature, and with the Spy apparently being more of the silent type (fitting for his job, Sniper thought), neither of them seemed particularly compelled to break their silent. . . what was this? He whisked the thought away with a short flick of his eyes. He’d never heard the Spy speak in all the time they’d worked together, and he didn’t expect that to change. He didn’t need to think about that. Neither of them felt any need to break the silence that was so comfortable despite their intrinsic opposition. Sniper felt the tension of the different colours that they wore in the way he was aware of every movement the Spy made next to him. He felt them overcome it in the way he didn’t tense at them, and the way he was unconcerned even when the Spy reached into his pocket to retrieve another cigarette.

The Sniper (though he thought of himself as Sniper, a name in a place where he couldn’t use his own) cracked another bullet in between someone’s eyes. Then he leaned away from his rifle and blinked a couple of times. His eyes were getting tired of staring through his scope for so long. The Spy, next to him, sat up a little straighter. He didn’t look at Sniper, and Sniper tried to look like he was not looking at him, a feat made possible by his sunglasses.

There was a moment of silence in which neither of them moved, but suddenly the atmosphere was tense. Sniper knew that the Spy had a choice to make.

There is a short story written in 1882 by a man by the name of Frank R. Stockton called “The Lady, or the Tiger?” It is a short but complex tale that questions the ideas of philosophy, personal ideals, and trust of another person. The story is convoluted and tests the extent of the reader’s suspension of disbelief, but the basics are as follows: A man is forced to choose between two doors, having been caught fraternising with a princess, as punishment from the king. Behind one lies a lady who he can marry at the expense of watching the true love of his life live the rest of her days with another man, and he would not be allowed to contact her again. Behind the other door is a tiger, who, in no imprecise terms, would prevent him from seeing this reality. He knows what his choices are, but not which choice corresponds to which door. The princess is telling him to choose the one on his right, and he has to ask himself if she would want him dead or to marry another---and if he would want the same as she did. The story ends before the man chooses his fate, in a sense asking the reader what they would choose for themselves. The lady, or the tiger? It is an interesting dilemma.

Neither of the men in the Sniper’s tower that day had read, or even heard of that story. It was ironic, in a sense, when the Spy cloaked, altogether rather suddenly. He had made his choice, not knowing what lies behind the door. It was only moments later that Sniper felt that he was alone. . .

----------------------

Again the rest is on ao3 at the link above ! It's almost 6k words, all on one chapter since sections are short like this one.

[hankwritten]

Team Fortress 2 Ship Analysis

This is going to be an analysis of ship popularity in the TF2 fandom using AO3's statistics tools to help me out. After someone on Twitter inquired if EngieSpy was a "rarepair" it got me thinking about how exactly to determine that, and since I love the AO3 stats blog I decided to make my own little investigation.

First, I'd like to go over the weaknesses in my methods. These stats won't be entirely accurate snapshots into the fandom during specific years, as fics will have been deleted since then and. Additionally, AO3 allows backdating, so some fics may be posted to certain years after the fact. However, both these factors should be negligible to the overall trends.

A bigger downside to using AO3 is that TF2 is an older fandom, and a good chunk of fan activity occurred on the "tf2chan", a message board that was hosting fics/fanart/discussions  since the game's release in 2007. The chan has been wiped several times since then, and even if it hadn't, it's still very difficult to find fic information unless you want to go through each post individually. (The only distinction between a fanfiction was whether it was "adult" or not, most authors don't even add descriptions.) All this to explain there will be more of a bias to fanfic written 2014 on. (As this is my best guess to when the move from the tf2chan to tumblr/AO3 occurred.)

I am going to be tracking several things, using 2010 as my baseline. The images you are about to see include

1) Top ten ships posted THAT YEAR on AO3

2) The Number of fics in total

3) Some commentary about rises and falls of the various ships on the list

2010, Total Fics: 24

Not much to analyze here, a quick scan reveals most of these are backdated as A03 had JUST entered open beta. Though funnily enough, it relates to the original question that started this whole thing: EngieSpy was THE ship of 2010.

2011, Total Fics: 43

2012, Total Fics 142

Here we have a bit of meat now. HeavyMedic and SniperSpy pulling ahead, though what surprised me is the amount of MedicSniper. I had preconceived notions that that ship's popularity arose from the Old Wounds comic (2015), but apparently both Medic and Sniper were enough of fandom favorites that they could make a rather successful crackship. This may also be the reason for HeavySniper. I'd also like to bring notice to Miss Pauling appearing on this list, who was introduced in 2009 and who was shown to have at least a dynamic with Scout in 2011. Funnily, "introduced in 2009 and only now showing up on the list" also applies to DemoSoldier.

2013, Total Fics: 344

This list looks remarkably like modern day, with the main difference being EngieSniper taking the place of EngieSoldier. EngieSniper was enough of a breakout that it also encouraged Engineer/Sniper/Spy, the only polyship across all years.

2014, Total Fics: 658

SniperSpy and HeavyMedic will always war over who gets to be top dog, but this is the years of the Spyper. Some breakout mid-tier ships you may recognize make their debut in 2014: DemoSniper, EngiePyro, and PyroScout. Not only is this Pyro's first time on the list, but with TWO popular ships. EngiePyro in particular was first given canon backing in 2011 with the release of the True Meaning Comic.

2015, Total Fics: 852

This is where the fandom peaked, coinciding with the release of the Old Wounds comic. Since this is the year I joined, I'm not surprised! MedicSniper makes a comeback, SniperScout pulls ahead of ScoutPauling, just an overall Sniper focused year. (Despite that, DemoSniper does not return.)  Pyro ships fall in popularity, though not off the list, and EngieSoldier continues to have a strong foothold.

2016, Total Fics: 520

First time we have a "repeat" with BLU Spy/RED Sniper, showing that SniperSpy is preferred as a crossfaction ship. HeavyMedic falls all the way to third (gasp!), and the ever present MedicScout loses the popularity boost it received last year even as it clings on. First appearance of MedicSpy, which makes me wonder why we never see the common "support sandwich" polyship that seems so popular in fanart. ScoutPauling seems to have disappeared, likely to in response to Jay Pinkerton's tweet revealing Pauling to be a lesbian, and we won't see it make a comeback.

2017, Total Fics: 530

Comic #6, the Naked and the Dead is released at the beginning of the year, increasing platonic Scout and Spy content. (Before this, the non platonic version of this ship really only made waves in 2015 and 2013, and after this point we'll never see it on the top 10 list again.) Nothing else much new here, though the spike in SniperSpy may also be in relation to the comic.

2018, Total Fics: 548

The first appearance of a reader insert being a top ship. Although the TF2 community is no stranger to self ship, these fics usually gain a lot more traction on Wattpad, a fiction service released around the same time as AO3. EngieSpy and EngieSniper, old friends from the ancient days, make a combeback.

2109, Total Fics: 654

What a weird year! A platonic ship and "No Romantic Relationship(s)" both gain top slots. A good year for the gen lovers out there! Also another reader ship, but this time for Medic. ScoutSniper has nearly twice as many fics as the number two slot, and SniperSpy drops to the lowest rank it's ever been.

2020: Total Fics: 836

I've heard that TF2 is in a resurgence and looking at the numbers, I believe we are! There were nearly as many fics in 2020 as 2015, our fandom's previous high. Here are the highest ships of all time: 

HeavyMedic, SniperSpy, and ScoutSniper have always vied for the top 3 positions. EngineerSoldier, ScoutPauling, MedicSniper, and DemoSoldier are all reasonably popular, and looking at the history always have been. As for the rest, AO3 only shows the top 10 ships, but there's several more ships at about equal popularity to PyroScout and EngieScout: MedicSpy, EngieSniper, Medic/Reader, and Sniper/Reader to name a few.

In conclusion, just because we don't see it on the top ten list, doesn't mean there isn't a bunch of people out there who love it!

[izazaa]

[sniperspy]

ficbit for a comment on Date Night.

“I’d love to read a sequel where Spy like tries another romantic gesture, genuine this time, and Sniper being skeptical but eventually caving because he's a sucker for flowers and dinner and sunsets”

When the door on the passenger's side of his camper van opens, two bottle of red wine are lobbed onto the seat, and then a bouquet of flowers.

From the driver's seat, Sniper reaches across, and closes the door.

It opens again of course, and despite his blush that Sniper suspects reaches his ears, and a new cynicism, he gathers the things into his lap – the flowers are vibrant, its petals softer and more delicate than anything he's ever had in his camper –so that an irate Spy can slide into the seat without squashing them.

"They're not for you," he snaps, though to his credit, he does not mention Sniper's reddened face. He takes them back, and reveals that one of the bottles is actually a slim vase. "They're for ambience. Even if this is just a dalliance in the desert, I have standards."

A dalliance. Sniper snorts as he pulls his camper out of the gates. "Did you walk across the base with those?" he wonders. If there is something to be gained by publically courting him, Sniper cannot fathom it.

"Don't be daft. I was cloaked." Then he mutters darkly, "Those nosy bastards already know too much," and looks so profoundly put out that his mysterious facade is now less mysterious, that Sniper has to laugh.

Despite the rocky start, the date goes well. Far into the desert where there is nothing but sand and gravel for miles, they lounge atop of the camper, sitting pressed together for warmth in the rapidly chilling air, bottle and sanvich wrappers emptied. Spy was right, the flowers do lend an allure to the night that is impossible to resist. Sniper grows languid and content.

A reverent silence descends with the sun, and the sky is glorious. He's seen this a dozen times before, but he wouldn't have invited Spy out here if it didn't stir something inside him. Sniper is more used to being an observer; that the opulent flowers and heady wine is for him, that Spy is within his reach, is something new entirely. He glances to the man in question, and finds that Spy is already looking at him.

Sniper has to ask. "Does any of this –" the wine and dine, the flowers, the unending desert set ablaze before them "– mean anything to you?"

"Honestly? After my years of espionage and false romances – no." Before Sniper's heart can properly drop, he adds quietly, "But I thought you might like it."

If Sniper thought his face was red before... It's a good thing the sun has nearly disappeared and the sky has begun to darken.

He stays silent for too long, staring at Spy with wide eyes. True to form, Spy flushes, then dithers, then covers all that awful, genuine emotions with a horrendously smug smirk and gloats, "So you do like –"

Sniper kisses him. When he pulls back, Spy's smirk has softened at the edges into a smile that he can hardly bear to look at, so he has to lean in and kiss him again. Spy huffs with laughter, and deepens the kiss.

"Your camper is too small for anything," Spy muses when they part for air. He touches Sniper's jaw, gloved fingers dimpling the corner of his mouth. "But I suppose it would be too cold up here soon."

"We'll make do with what we have." Sniper's voice has turned rough. "I'll make it worth your while."

There's a curious look on Spy's face that he can't see well in the dark but it reminds him of the sunset. His voice is butter soft when he replies, "Oui. You will."

[ao3feed-tf2ships]

My Lovely Sunshine

read it on the AO3 at http://archiveofourown.org/works/18032390

by masked_simplicity

BLU plummeted down quick shortly after the assassination of Blutarch Mann by his apparent long lost brother, Gray Mann, and another mysterious stranger. Though thus may have been a victory for RED, Miss Pauling warns that more danger is to arrive in time, especially with these new enemies at hand. The RED Scout grew quick to stop caring much... until he found himself captured by the hands of someone he least expected.

BLU Sniper/RED Scout. RED Sniper/RED Spy. Sniperscout and Sniperspy segment of the overall story. More tags will come.

Words: 11244, Chapters: 1/?, Language: English

Series: Part 1 of You Are My Sunshine

Fandoms: Team Fortress 2

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Categories: M/M

Characters: RED Scout, BLU Sniper, RED Sniper, RED Spy, RED Team (Team Fortress 2), BLU Team (Team Fortress 2), Miss Pauling (Team Fortress 2), The Mann Brothers (Team Fortress 2), Administrator (Team Fortress 2), Original Antagonist Character(s)

Relationships: BLU Sniper/RED Scout, RED Sniper/RED Spy, Implied RED Heavy/RED Medic, Past RED Spy/RED Scout's Mother

Additional Tags: Character Death, Angst, Graphic Description, Eventual Smut, Eventual Romance, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Bittersweet Ending, Original Character(s), Alternate Universe, Clones, Story Rich

read it on the AO3 at http://archiveofourown.org/works/18032390

[john-pancreas]

I think the biggest reason John pancreas likes the red sniperspy with blue spy being a… creepy weird man towards red sniper

Is because with the skills of a spy it makes him truly terrifying

it turns sniper

a hunter

into the hunted the blu Spys prey

and that is one of my favorite tropes that make me uncomfortable!!

and then you just throw a cute wholesome red sniper and spy relationship on top of that and it’s all better

like continuing the animal type analogy

the red spy would go slow and at snipers pace

not rushing him like offering food to and animal and letting them come to you

showing them kindness until you become best friends

but blue spy?

he likes the hunt

the obsession

the idea that if he chases the red sniper down

and catches him

he can make the sniper HIS

I just think it’s an interesting contrast (even if it makes me uncomfortable with… the blue spy xD)

anyways that’s John pancreas thought of the day

[izazaa]

[sniperspy] x3

another comment!fic on Date Night 

flower shop au + two clones walk into a bar (the fics i’m actually working on are awful -- tentaspy (lo), sex pollen (lmao), and pseudo slave fic (o no) -- so i was hoping to start on something more decent, but.)

comment!fic to the prompt, "gift giving or holidays”

In some strange facsimile of a normal company, the goings-on of RED slow down during the winter holidays, and its mercenaries are left to languish in the rec room, no bloody mission to entertain them. On one such slow day, crammed together on a couch in the back, watching their teammates' hijinks, Spy leans over and drawls into Sniper's ear, "I suppose your accuracy only extends to bullets."

He's turned to Sniper, and his face is so close – they are pressed so close on this couch, how did this happen? – that it makes Sniper's heart hitch, but he's got on this idle expression, as though he's already dismissed the possibility of Sniper's skill, and Sniper cannot abide by that. So keeping eye contact the entire time, Sniper plucks the toothpick from his sandvich, and whips it at the dart board across the room. It whistles through the air, and thocks soundly in the dead centre of the bullseye.

The corner of Spy's mouth twitches, an almost smile, almost delighted. From his jacket, he discreetly pulls out a small knife, and, inexplicably, a sprig of mistletoe. "The doorway on the right. As soon as Miss Pauling takes two steps towards it."

It's tricky, with the added weight and resistance of the mistletoe, but again, it hits its target precisely, just as Miss Pauling reaches it, and just as Scout returns from his toilet break. The both of them look up, and their eyes widen, and then Miss Pauling has to shield herself with her clipboard from Scout's bluster.

Sniper cracks up, shaking with silent laughter. Beside him, pressed up against his side, Spy finally smiles, smug.

There is an outbreak of mistletoe on base after that. The sprigs appear as if by magic, even in places that were empty just a second ago, and their other teammates are happy to bully its latest victim into compliance. Heavy is made to kiss Natasha twice. Pyro headbutts Engie hard enough that the muzzle of his mask sends Engie's hard hat flying. In her efforts to avoid Scout, Miss Pauling has kissed so far, a can of Bonk!, a sandvich, a lvl 2 sentry, and Archimedes, instead of him.

It's the most festive fun he's had since Christmas on the farm all those years ago, sneaking around the base with Spy, armed with the tiny bow and arrow set that he'd procured from god knows where. But as with all good things, it has to come to an end; Spy soon runs out of mistletoe.

In a secluded corner of the base, Sniper holds up an arrow forlornly, the last sprig dangling from its tip. "I hope you have something planned for the grand finale."

"Ah, I did have something in mind," says Spy, then leans in and kisses his cheek. His nose nudges Sniper's sunglasses crooked. He chuckles at the sight it makes, then pushes further into Sniper's space, one hand at his face ostensibly to fix it. "That grand enough for you?"

Sniper stabs the arrow into the wall behind Spy so that the mistletoe hangs above them proper, and then presses Spy up against the wall. "Grander," he demands, then leans in to kiss Spy proper.

flower shop au (i once saw fanart of this au, wherein spy inexplicably had his mask on still -- it was hilarious, but i never found it again orz)

When Mundy storms into the flower shop, slams down twenty dollars, and makes his demands, he feels less like an unreasonable asshole customer when the florist turns, and what Mundy thought was a head scarf, is actually an equally unreasonable blue ski mask, wrapped around his entire head, and down his neck.

"What." Sniper looks around but the newly opened flower shop remains just that, with its bright bursts of colourful blossoms, and lush leaves. Nothing suspect about it, save the blue masked man behind the counter, whose name, when Sniper squints at the tag pinned to his matching blue apron, is Spy.

Spy furrows his brow at him. "I believe those words are mine. Could you repeat your request?"

Sniper repeats, enunciating carefully, "I need flowers that say fuck you."

"Ah," says Spy blandly, very professional. It endears him to Sniper immediately, mask or no mask. "Of course. Might I inquire the recipients...?"

"My parents."

To his further credit, Spy still doesn't even bat an eyelid, only slides out from behind the counter to regard his shelves of flowers. "Family feud?" he asks absently, plucking long stemmed flowers and placing them on brown paper.

Mundy shrugs, then decides, what the hell. It isn't like he'll ever need the services of a florist again, what with his toddling love life and the way his relationship with his biological parents is going. "We'd been estranged for 30 years. I only just found them. Doesn't make for a chummy relationship."

"I'm sure they had their reasons." Inexplicably, Spy's chosen this part of his story to stiffen. He stares resolutely at a single yellow carnation, and says with practiced informality, "After all, did they not ultimately reach out to you?"

"I reached out to them," Sniper grumbles, but concedes, "I'm not sayin' leaving your child makes you a bad person, but if your child tracks you down through no effort of your own, and the first thing you ask for is money, that might."

On a more expressive, non ski mask clad person, Spy's face might have read yikes. Instead, he goes, "ah," again and busies himself with arranging the chosen flowers into a small bouquet. "Yellow carnation, a fanciful way of saying 'you have disappointed me,'" he explains, slender fingers nimbly bundling them together and securing them with a ribbon, "foxglove for insincerity, and lastly, an orange lily for hatred."

The bouquet glows gold when it is completed. Sniper isn't a flower type of person, but even he can tell it's a job well done. He thanks Spy earnestly as he pays.

"Glad to hear it. And I hope your meeting goes well," Spy offers.

Sniper knows it won't, but with his bouquet in hand, he isn't dreading it quite as much as he had before.

two clones walk into a bar

It takes the BLU Sniper a good half year to sort through the nonsense left in his head after Medic's brain scooping, matching half remembered memories scrapped together with what he could dig out of his… original's file, so by the time he makes it to the house, it is dilapidated, and his parents are dead.

He sinks to his knees in front of their tombstones, traces the inscriptions in the hand carved stone. They were not his parents, technically, only the parents of the man he was cloned from, but they were good people either way, and worthy of grieving over. This is what Sniper has to tell himself when his vision begins to blur and fat tears drop onto his fists, clenched tight atop his knees.

There is a rustle behind him and it may well be twigs to a fire because Sniper is snarling with blistering fury as he launches himself at the intruder, kukri drawn. His rifle is left before the graves; he wants a fight.

The intruder parries his blade, but not before it slices through the thick fabric of his mask. With a grunt, both men topple over from Sniper's momentum. Sniper takes a blow to his shoulder hard enough that it knocks his kukri out of his grip, but he twists and slams the intruder's hand into the ground to dislodge his knife, and then they are grappling like children in the dirt.

Despair makes his movements sloppy and the mam bores Sniper into the earth. As Sniper thrashes under his weight, they locks eyes for a split second, and all the fight drains from him. With the last of his strength, he plants a boot into his stomach and punts him to the side. Then he lies there, gasping for breath, staring blankly at the sky. Taking his lack of resistance as cue, the intruder collapses down next to him.

For a moment, all is quiet. There is only the wind hissing across the expansive land, and their harsh breathing.

"Feeling better?"

The voice though feathered and panting is painfully familiar. Sniper would laugh if he had the breath for it. Of course it is the BLU Spy. That idiot of a clone who had the audacity to make passes at him before he decided against a counterfeit, then returned to mooning over his original, the RED Sniper, for the rest of their years as teammates.

Despite his better judgement, Sniper demands, "What are you doing here?"

"There are not many of us left."

That is true. Medic and Engineer had been terminated permanently for knowing too many of the company's secrets. There hadn't been enough of Solder to piece back together after that horrific experiment to fragment hikm into an army.  Pyro hadn't resisted the purge, and the rest had disappeared before the robot war began. Not a lot left, indeed.

"Why'd you come here?"

"The RED Spy locked me out of my – his contacts. I do not have any money nor property to return to."

It doesn't answer his question, but Sniper decides he doesn't want to press for answers. "As if that would stop you," he says instead.

"As a matter of fact, I have a suite in town." Despite his two broken fingers, Spy fishes out a cigarette and holds it delicately between his thumb and forefinger. "It is easily large enough should I bring back a guest."

Sniper prickles with distaste at the heavy suggestion in his tone. "Why the bloody hell would I go with you?"

"For old time's sake?" At Sniper's scoff, Spy shrugs easily. "Why would you stay here?"

Sniper cannot answer that, and it unsettles him so much that when Spy rises, brushes himself off, and offers him a hand, he takes it.